One of my friends at work used to ask me every time she saw me “what injuries do you have this week from your animals?” There was usually something.

I cant recall the first injury that I sustained from an animal. But I recall the first one since living and working on the farm. I was helping out a neighbour with the annual vaccination, drenching and tagging of his calves.

The cattle had been rounded up from their paddock using motorbikes. They were moved into the yards where the sorting and other work was to take place. The cows were separated from their offspring - achieved by moving them along a narrow ‘run’. At the end the mother was ‘pushed’ one way (encouraged to move using sticks and voice) and the calves moved in another direction. They were reunited after the procedures were finished.

The calves were tagged in the ear with a numbered plastic tag. This procedure is sort of like having one’s ears pierced and I suspect hurts as much. The number is recorded. They received an injection into the rump or the neck muscle with vaccine and were also ‘drenched’. Drenching is a procedure using chemicals to kill internal parasitic worms - chemicals are poured down the back of the cattle or horse.

My role in all this was as a ‘farm hand’. I had to get up close, into the yards if required and keep the cattle moving along. Make noise, poke animals with sticks, encourage them to head the right way. Open and shut gates. Get very dirty and sweaty.

What I did not realise at this time was that cattle have an incredible way of being able to kick in any direction including sideways. They call it a ‘cow kick’.

It was in this context that a young calf demonstrated the ‘cow kick’ with perfect execution. It connected my leg immediately above my kneecap and onto the bottom of my leg muscle. Any lower and I may have suffered a fractured kneecap. The pain was immediate and severe. I went down. The bruise that resulted was huge and lasted for ages.

Never forget that and never will it be repeated.

I never was kicked again by a cow. I was, however, kicked by a horse.

I was backing one of my ponies out of the horse float one day when she confused me for one of her annoying paddock mates. Horses kick straight back. And it can be with great force. Thankfully I was standing close to her and the kick was not maximum power. Painful nonetheless and another huge bruise.